The Story Of My Life

Came across this in the Sunday Comics and couldn't help but to chuckle. This is truly the story of my life! Especially between the the hours of 7:00 am and 6:30 pm when our home is over ran with joyful energetic children. I am lucky on the rare occasion that I get to use the restroom in peace. Believe me when I say rare I mean rare. They use to just burst in and demand that I address their needs from the throne. (children have no boundaries!) I have learned to lock the door though because most are unable to pick the lock. Now I think the children have confused the bathroom as a confessional. I swear there must be a sensor on the toilet that triggers a light to turn on the moment my butt hits the seat. This alerts the children and lets them know "I'm in" so they all come running. Its like a stampede of crazed elephants fleeing for their lives. The weak and the young are often left behind or worse trampled just like in the wild! They stand there outside the bathroom door yelling "I pushed Judy because she took my toy!" "Well I took the toy because Elroy wouldn't share!" "And And And Nikki .... George bit the dog again.... and were hungry!" So there I sit shouting back through the bathroom door each ones penance "Judy and Elroy you need to share your toys and we should not hurt our friends so hug, say your sorry and keep your hands to yourself." "Oh yeah, and George, Ill get you some lunch in a minute SO DON'T EAT THE DOG!" I am fortunate though because our bathroom has two doors and sometimes if I'm really quiet I can sneak out the "escape door". This will lead me to our office instead of the kitchen where the angry mob awaits me. Usually when I am able to pull this off it allows me 60 to 90 seconds of peace before they realize that I have tricked them. Then they all come running around the corner to out me! Even the dogs are in on it now! Maggie will join me in the bathroom and just refuse to leave. (probably a fear of being bitten by a child!) While Charlie will sit outside the bathroom with his nose pressed up against the door jam snorting like some kind of wild hog! Again this comic is the story of my life! Oh, and just in case you were wondering I do not really care for children named Judy, Elroy and George. I needed an alias name for them and when I was typing this the Jetsons were on in the other room. How convenient!