PARENTING 101

I was out running some errands this afternoon when I decided that this blog post was a must! You see being an aunt of 11 wonderful nieces and nephews as well as a child care provider and an un-perfect mother you see and here about parents having laps in their judgement all the time. Most of these are funny yet ridiculous things we just do without thinking! A perfect example is the time my older sister was pushing my then 3 year old nephew Gabe in a stroller at a car show. He was not buckled in and she hit a curb needless to say Gabe went flying through the air like a trapeze artist. What makes the story even better is her trying to retrieve him from the center of the drunk crowd that he happened to land in! (Oops wont do that again!) On the opposite end of the spectrum are those parents who have more serious laps in their judgement and either don't see it or I guess just don't care. These are the parents you see while sitting at the traffic light. You know the ones who have their children strapped safely in the back seat of the car while they smoke a cigarette with all the windows rolled up! Way to go keeping your kids safe while you totally disregard their health ...... HERE'S YOUR SIGN!

I actually know parents who will not get their children immunized because of the fear of autism but they smoke while holding their child on their lap! Can someone please explain, I seem to be confused. Maybe I missed somewhere that young children inhaling toxic chemicals enhances brain development?

And just when you think you have seen it all.... Today while stopped at a red light I see a man standing on his front porch holding a young boy probably around a year old. The man is wearing socks, jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. The women he is talking to is wearing shoes, pants, a coat and hat. The child has no coat, no hat, no blanket as a matter of fact he had on NO CLOTHES only a diaper! It was 42 degrees outside What the **** were they thinking? Of course me being me I honk my horn and tug at my shirt then point to the child hoping they get my message. " Hey Dummy you live on Main St.! EVERYONE CAN SEE YOU! We are now all witnesses to your stupidity and lack of parenting skills!" Parenting classes should be mandatory for first time parents who clearly have no clue what they are doing!

Thanks Heather for being my example :)

This helpful guide is from Wry Baby founders, Kelly and David Sopp, to aid new parents who may not understand the subtleties of good parenting.

The Story Of Charlie

Charlie 1999 - 2009

Charlie Brown, A fighter with an unbreakable spirit. The worlds greatest canine companion died March 10th of cancer and old age. At the time of his death his license was current and he had all of his shots. He is survived by two adults, two children, his 5 year companion Maggie, who's spaying he always regretted, as well as a host of fleas who have gone elsewhere, probably to Maggie. He will be missed by all, except the neighborhood cats who try and use the flower bed as a litter box and the mailman who once maced him.

Its the summer of 2000 and the talk at work is all about a Innocent dog who has been forgotten about. The dog has been abandoned and locked on a tiny back porch. He is being kept alive by the kindness of neighbors who continually put food and water over the railing. They have called the authorities but are told that as long as the dog is not beaten or malnourished and has a spot on the porch clear of fecal matter to lay there is nothing they can do! Well we disagree! After a week of waiting we catch word that the man who owns the dog is at the house so I head over. I pull in the driveway and get out of the car, as I approach the house I see the owner. He is sitting on his front porch reading the Bible. I instantly become angry, has he skipped the part in Psalm about taking care of Gods creatures! I gather myself knowing that speaking my mind will not help this poor dog. With every ounce of self control I have I kindly introduce myself and let the man know that I am interested in his dog and would like to know if he wants to get rid of him. The man does not ask me a single question he stands up and walks into the house. A couple minutes later he emerges with a high strung Chocolate Lab and hands me his leash. This was the first time I had ever laid eyes on this dog. I ask about his age and if he has ever had shots. The man responds "I have no clue, we got him at a pet store about a year ago when he was a puppy." I said thank you and was then pulled to the car but this huge 4 legged creature named Charlie!

After a good bath and a vet check to make sure Charlie was healthy we began the search to find him a loving home. We did interview after interview and no one screamed perfect match. After weeks of looking we were about to give up and settle on someone we had already interviewed. And then it happened, we figured out what Charlie had known the whole time. We didn't need to find him a perfect home because he already had one..... with us!

He was by far the worlds worst untrained 1 year old Chocolate Lab in history! But despite all the massive piles of dog poop and stolen food from the counter. All the eaten shoes and chewed up legs on the antique dinning room chairs, our hearts belonged to Charlie and he knew it!

Now here we sit 9 years later saying goodbye to the dog who stole our hearts. With his cold wet nose and big beautiful eyes you couldn't help but love him. We know that we did everything we could for Charlie and that in the end we saved him from unnecessary pain and suffering but that has not made this journey any easier. Everyone keeps telling us that Charlie lived a great life and was blessed to have such a good home. But truth be told Charlie wasn't the one who was blessed.....We were!

A big THANKS to Dr.Clark and his staff at the Animal Hospital for helping Charlie fill our home and hearts with joy for the 9 wonderful years we had him!

The Story Of My Life

Came across this in the Sunday Comics and couldn't help but to chuckle. This is truly the story of my life! Especially between the the hours of 7:00 am and 6:30 pm when our home is over ran with joyful energetic children. I am lucky on the rare occasion that I get to use the restroom in peace. Believe me when I say rare I mean rare. They use to just burst in and demand that I address their needs from the throne. (children have no boundaries!) I have learned to lock the door though because most are unable to pick the lock. Now I think the children have confused the bathroom as a confessional. I swear there must be a sensor on the toilet that triggers a light to turn on the moment my butt hits the seat. This alerts the children and lets them know "I'm in" so they all come running. Its like a stampede of crazed elephants fleeing for their lives. The weak and the young are often left behind or worse trampled just like in the wild! They stand there outside the bathroom door yelling "I pushed Judy because she took my toy!" "Well I took the toy because Elroy wouldn't share!" "And And And Nikki .... George bit the dog again.... and were hungry!" So there I sit shouting back through the bathroom door each ones penance "Judy and Elroy you need to share your toys and we should not hurt our friends so hug, say your sorry and keep your hands to yourself." "Oh yeah, and George, Ill get you some lunch in a minute SO DON'T EAT THE DOG!" I am fortunate though because our bathroom has two doors and sometimes if I'm really quiet I can sneak out the "escape door". This will lead me to our office instead of the kitchen where the angry mob awaits me. Usually when I am able to pull this off it allows me 60 to 90 seconds of peace before they realize that I have tricked them. Then they all come running around the corner to out me! Even the dogs are in on it now! Maggie will join me in the bathroom and just refuse to leave. (probably a fear of being bitten by a child!) While Charlie will sit outside the bathroom with his nose pressed up against the door jam snorting like some kind of wild hog! Again this comic is the story of my life! Oh, and just in case you were wondering I do not really care for children named Judy, Elroy and George. I needed an alias name for them and when I was typing this the Jetsons were on in the other room. How convenient!